Like many people around the world I love Rupaul’s Drag Race, in my case It wouldn’t be an exaggeration to say that this fun/crazy reality program totally changed my life, if not saved it completely. I’m embarrassed to say I only discovered the program on Netflix late last year, Yes WTF took me so long? Well good question, but I believe things and people much like wizards (LOTR reference) arrive exactly when they are meant to.
Pre drag Race, I was lost in a deep depression of self hate and loathing, I felt the sands of time had run out on my life. I believed every day was going to be just more of the same dull boring routine, breakfast, lunch, housework, dinner an evening of disempowering TV and then a sleepless night of regret. I had welcomed becoming 40, but before I could even get in the swing of it I found myself 51 and that really sucked.
Everyone I knew looked like me, bored out of their frigging minds. They ‘lived’ for the grandchildren visiting, day trips to the garden centre or pointless box ticking cruises in the sun. Sure there were still some old farts rocking out on booze and drugs in a vain attempt to escape their dull magnolia lives. They thought they were having fun, but I knew their self medication was only ever a Snoopy Band-Aid on a festering stump of disillusion and despair.
Then one day I clicked on drag Race and my poor deadheart skipped a beat. Almost instantly I imagined Rupaul was speaking to me ‘So Bitch are you going to start living your truth? Or simply sashay to your grave?’.
‘ No Ru I’m going to Exhume this dead old heart and live whatever time I have left as I want, as I really, really want 🙂 my soul cried out.
The change was profound, I stopped taking my prescribed medications that were doing nothing but keeping me anaesthetised to the fact I was not living as my unique self. I went vegan and started the 5:2 diet. I’m Just a few months down this long new and exciting road, I feel great and more importantly I feel truly happy and inspired. I actually have something to look forward to. At 51 I feel like a teenager again, I have a whole host of new things to try and do, from making wigs, to waxing my body, to growing my nails, writing this blog to finally starting to create that podcasts I’ve been putting off for years. I was becoming Exhumea Deadheart maybe decades later than I should, but never mind it was finally happening.
While I know Exhumea has always been inside of me, it was Drag Race that finally gave me the courage to wake her up and give her life.
Below are some of the Drag queens whose looks and attitudes have inspired me the most.
The AAA Girls Alaska, Willam and Courtney Act